Look For The Girl With The Broken Smile
by dipdipdip
Summary: Based on Carla's diagnosis. Might be a one shot, might continue.
1. Chapter 1

**Look for the girl with the broken smile.**

Peter leaned gently on the bar, trying not to let his gaze meet hers.

She'd been sat there for an hour, maybe more, sipping on glass after glass of sparkling water.

Her face was drawn, her chiselled cheekbones bore dark shadows, her dark hair trailing down and over her shoulders.

He needn't worry, she didn't look up. Her eyes instead hovering, glazed over as she stared at her glass.

Her thin frame, swamped in a thick cardigan was a cry from the woman he'd parted ways with. Her boney wrists, gripping her glass too tightly.

He paused, wandering if he should approach her, ask her if there was something wrong.

Who was he kidding, he'd seen her change over the weeks that she'd been back. He'd wanted to talk to her properly, but she was always flanked by Roy, Michelle, Jonny, Aiden. And when she was alone, he didn't have the guts. If he had, Toyah would be biting at his heels.

She took a deeper breath, seemingly straining to get enough air into her lungs. She stood up, and he watching her grip the table for support, her body weak. Where was the black beauty that normally strutted the streets in heels too high?

When her eyes finally did meet his, she gave him a halfhearted, broken smile, as though she knew he knew, they all knew.

No amount of making up or coffee could hide the disease eating her away.

She was waiting, but how much longer could she fight for? How much longer before she'd have to tell them why she looked so ghostly.

Her smile faded as she put the glass on the bar, scooting it over to him.

'Carla, can I get you anything else?' Peter asked her quietly, unsure really what to say.

'I think I've drank enough of that to drown myself ent I' she chuckled, pulling her back over her shoulder.

Peter smiled lightly. 'At least it's not vodka' he said before grimacing at his words.

'Yeah, anyway, I best go' she said quickly, not wanting to stick around.

'Carla' he said.

She looked up, his kind eyes meeting hers.

'Look after yourself, won't you?' Peter said, not taking his eyes off her.

After all that had happened, no one could take his breath away quite like Carla. The bags under her eyes, the sharp outline of her collar bones, her sallow skin, nothing took away from her exquisite, exotic beauty. He tried to ignore the flips his stomach was doing.

'Will do Peter' she muttered quietly, gesturing a mock salute. She turned on her heel, aiming for the door.

And just like that, she was gone, leaving a trail of silence in her wake.

And as the icy air hit her face she took a sharp breath, teetering in her heels, having to lean against the wall to regain her stance. She couldn't go on much longer.


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you so much for the reviews - the mean the world!

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Carla chuckled at something Michelle had said, a dirty cackle coming out from her throat.

Her attention to turned to Peter who was giving her a shy smile, listening in on their conversation.

'Oi, nosey' she tutted, although couldn't help but let the corners of her mouth turn up.

'Sorry' Peter smiled back.

Toyah caught the brief exchange and came storming round from the behind the bar.

'Right, I can't take this, why have you come back Carla, is it to snatch Peter back?' she spat, pent on jealousy and frustration pouring out.

Carla looked taken aback, and let out a half laugh.

'Seriously? For god's sake, will you chill out, I haven't come back to 'snatch' Peter from you' Carla' said, her expression almost disgusted.

'Well it doesn't look like that, you cosying up to him, following him round' Toyah said angrily.

'Following him round?' Carla laughed, amused by Toyah's complete misunderstanding.

'Yeah that's right, I saw you the other day in the back' Toyah said her eyes teary.

'I popped in to say hi.. see if it were really true, him, landlord' Carla said before shaking her head.

'I don't need to justify myself to you, I came back to see my family I'll have you know, now go back to being a lapdog' Carla said turning away from Toyah.

And then Toyah lunged at Carla, she hadn't intended to push her hard, she was just angry.

But Carla, the frail person she was beneath her glamorous attire, took the shove badly.

She fell hard against the bar, falling to the ground. She felt her cheeks burn, mortified.

In the past she'd have given it back to Toyah, she'd have had Toyah cowering in the corner, but instead she remained on the floor, her hair shielding her face.

'What the hell did you do that for?' Peter said rushing to pull Toyah back, angry with his girlfriend for making a scene.

'Carla?' Michelle kneeled beside her friend, her face furrowed. This was not the Carla she knew.

'Take me back to Roy's Chelle' Carla muttered, wincing.

'Carla, are you okay?' Michelle repeated, completely confused as to why her friend wasn't giving Toyah sass, putting the world to rights.

Peter glanced over, he too now concerned. Carla never let people get the best of her, and Toyah would never be someone who could overpower Carla.

He wanted to go and check on her, but he knew that would only upset Toyah, so he stood back, remaining watchful as Michelle helped her friend to the stand.

Toyah, embarrassed too, eyes bearing into her, flounced into the back.

'Darling, what's wrong?' Michelle asked as Carla stood up, leaning on the bar, propping herself up. She'd gone slightly pale, and was breathing as though she'd be running. Carla was fanning her chest lightly, shaking her shirt to bring some cool relief to her burning skin.

She hated the eyes staring at her, a mixture of concern, confusion, surprise.

Carla felt the room go hazy, voices blurring into one strange noise. She felt her legs wobble, but Michelle had her friend sitting down before she could fall again.

'Woah, Carla, Carla, stay with me' Michelle said as Carla's world came back into focus. She retched slightly, covering her mouth.

Michelle and Peter shared a look, however much had gone on between the pair, Michelle could see Carla's ex husband clearing still cared for her deeply.

'You keep that dog of a girlfriend of yours on a muzzle, she had no right to go shoving her weight around like that' Michelle spat, glaring at Peter now.

Peter looked ashamed, unsure of what to say.

Michelle's anger quickly turned to concern once again as Carla stood herself up.

'No you need to sit down Carla' Michelle said, rubbing her friend's back.

'I'm going to Roy's' Carla said firmly, despite her fragile state she had a look of determination in her eyes. She didn't look back at Peter, avoiding the warmth of his big brown eyes as he watched her exit the pub, swiftly.


	3. Chapter 3

They walked together, no words spoken. Michelle was in a state of confusion, which was only exacerbated when Roy, noticing Carla was in visible discomfort, rushed to her side and ushered her away from the busy café, ignoring his waiting customers to bring her upstairs.

'Okay, what is going on?' Michelle asked, watching Roy, make an even more awkward face than he did usually, glancing at Carla as though looking for some kind of permission to speak.

'Nothing, Chelle, that Toyah is just tougher than she looks' Carla laughed weakly.

'Carla, you went flying into the bar like she was a heavy weight' Michelle questioned.

'She took me by surprise! That's all, didn't have time to get one up on her' Carla said as Michelle shook her head.

'No, you fell to the floor and then you wouldn't get back and you didn't even give her any mouth back' Michelle said, growing angry.

Roy shifted his weight between his feet, unsure of what to do as he stood beside Carla who had made herself comfortable in the corner of the couch.

'Chelle, look love, I'm fine, I'm a little tired, haven't been sleeping, no offence Roy but that bed really needs a new mattress' Carla said, brushing off Michelle's concern, trying to make light of the situation she was in.

Roy half smiled at Carla, but felt very ill at ease, standing between Carla, who had become a close friend, practically a daughter to him, and Michelle, one of, if not, her closest.

He wished Carla would just tell her, reach out to someone else. She needed help and it was clear her condition was deteriorating faster than she'd ever expected. And yet still, she continued to act as though there was nothing wrong, as though there wasn't a ticking time bomb inside her.

He'd thought about just blurting it out, against her will, but he relished the trust they had, and breaking that could send Carla off the rails. He had to support her, and respect her decision to keep quiet, but he knew it wouldn't be much longer before she had no choice.

'Michelle, you know I love ya, I flammin' adore ya but I just want to sleep, though I wouldn't mind you lamping that Toyah for me, who does she think she is' Carla said, frowning a little.

'Too right I'll lamp her, look I'm gonna go but you miss, you're coming round to the Bistro tonight, and we're gonna speak' Michelle said firmly.

Normally Carla would have told her off for speaking to her like that but she didn't have the energy, or the heart and simply mock saluted her friend, who shook her head, glanced at Roy and made her way out.

Once Michelle had left and the flat was quiet, Roy looked at Carla.

'Oh not you as well' Carla said.

'Carla, you are seriously ill, why are you not treating the situation seriously' he said, exasperated by her behaviour.

'Because, it's my illness, my body, I don't want people knowing out about me' Carla said sadly.

'But Michelle is your close friend, Johnny is your father!' Roy said.

'And some father he's been, you know I look at you like ma' Dad.. don't you' Carla said gently, looking into Roy's eyes.

Roy once again shuffled in his seat, looking a little uncomfortable, but also humbled.

'And I see you, like .. daughter' he said with a brief smile, looking at her, and then at the floor.


	4. Chapter 4

'You didn't have to have a go at her, you know?' Peter said softly to Toyah who was sat in the back room of the rovers arms crossed.

'She's been hanging around here ever since she got back' Toyah scowled.

'It is a pub you know, she's not exactly talking me' Peter said.

'She was in the back room er' the other day, talking to you' Toyah said as Peter shock his head.

'No offence love, but you're being over dramatic. She popped in to say hi.. I treated her really badly, she'd never want me back' Peter said, unable to hide his disappointment.

Toyah noticed this, biting her lip. 'And that's a bad thing?..' she questioned.

Peter looked up, realising his mistake.

'No, no of course not. Listen love, I have no interested in Carla and she certainly has no interest me, relax' Peter said as Toyah sighed.

* * *

'I.. thought you might like a cup of coffee' Roy said, hovering at the door to Carla's bedroom. She was lying on her side, awake, but still exhausted. She smiled, sitting up.

'You can come in you know.. no skeletons in here' she smirked at Roy's obvious awkwardness as he looked at the room and came in.

'Mind you, there might be someone hiding in ere' she said with a cheeky giggle.

'I'll leave you be' Roy said placing the mug beside her on the side table.

Carla snorted, 'Roy, don't be so serious!' she said punching his arm lightly before cocking her head to the side.

'I meant to thank you you know.. ' she said.

'What for?' he asked.

'For letting me stay, taking me in, it fees so good to know I can sit back.. and not be alone, and talk to you' she said, a hint of sadness in her voice.

'Ah, well, it is lovely to have you here' Roy smiled before Carla burst out laughing.

'Look at us eh, who would have thought I'd be shacked up er' in your house' she giggled.

'I didn't mean literally Roy' she mocked as he gave one of his classic awkward nods.

'You know, I meant it, when I said I don't want to loose another person I love' Roy said as Carla's expression became serious and she furrowed her brow, blinking away a few tears that clustered at the corners of her mouth.

'I don't want to die' said muttered as he reached for her hand.

'Tell them Carla, let them in, one of them could be a match for you' he said as she choked on a light sob.

'I can't, I'm no good at accepting elp' and I, I can't be that victim again' she said, thinking back to just a few years ago when she had been brutally raped by her husband to be.

'This isn't help Carla, this is something that will save your life. You say you don't want to die but you're wasting time' Roy said, slightly impatiently as he watched her.

Carla looked up at him, and changed her position, leaning her head against his shoulder.

'Just give me.. a bit more time, just a little'.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Thank you all for the lovely reviews!**_

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'Cup of coffee and a bacon sarnie, please Roy' Peter said, taking some cash out of his wallet.

'£4.40' Roy said, looking down.

Peter pondered, before asking. 'How is Carla, Roy? Toyah may have gone a bit far yesterday' Peter said, ashamed.

'Yes well, perhaps if you could tell her to leave Carla be, it'd be much appreciated' Roy said defending his dear friend, handing Peter his change back.

Peter furrowed his brow, he had been concerned about Carla from the offset. She hadn't seemed herself that time they'd shared a few gazes at the bar together. Then Toyah knocking Carla to the ground like she was made of glass. And now Roy protecting Carla.

The Carla he had known had been strong. Beneath it all, perhaps not, but the persona she let the world see was not one of weakness.

'Is Carla okay?' Peter asked.

Before Roy had a chance to answer, the woman herself appeared, coming down from Roy's flat and into the cafe.

She glanced at Peter, before taking a seat in the corner.

'On that note' Peter said, taking the coffee Roy had made him, and sitting next to Carla who pulled a confused, blank face at him.

She didn't like him this close to her. She might have hated him wafter what he did to her but beneath all the anger, the hate, the pain, she still loved him. She doubted that feeling would ever go, ever leave her. Not after all they had been through.

'Carla, I'm so sorry, about Toyah' Peter said as Carla cut him off.

'I was having a bad day, it's fine' she said as Roy quickly brought over Peter's food and Carla a cup of coffee.

She looked up at Roy, the corners of her mouth tugging upwards, giving him a soft smile as though to reassure him that she was okay in the presence of her ex husband.

'Carla, I know you, better than anyone' he said.

Carla's eyes narrowed, her green orbs rimmed with mascara becoming menacing.

She whispered angrily, 'And you took all of that away. You knew me Peter. You knew me' she said as he looked hurt.

'You kicked me when I was down and now you act like we know each other. Go back to your girlfriend' she said, spitting the words out as though they were bitter.

He reached out, putting his hand on her arm, which he noted was cold and pale.

She recoiled, 'Go away Peter' she said. Even being this close to him wasn't healthy for her. Her heart was skipping beats, and she felt a mixture of old love and new venom swirling inside her.

Peter stood up, giving her an apologetic look.

'I am so sorry' he said, looking down.


	6. Chapter 6

'I saw you with Peter, before' Roy said, sitting beside Carla, taking a break during the quieter hours of the cafe.

Carla looked to the side, away from Roy.

'I just can't' she said as Roy nodded.

'I think he cares' Roy added.

'Well he didn't care when he was sleeping with Tina did he? You do know he was having it off with her when I was er' with Hayley' Carla said sighing, leaning back into her chair, before feeling a wave of guilty. 'Sorry'.

'He hurt you, I understand' Roy said as Carla pouted.

'I just don't need him sniffing around me, especially when Toyah thinks it's me doing the sniffing' Carla said rubbing he's side, which had struck the bar when Toyah pushed her.

'How are you feeling?' Roy asked her as Carla shrugged.

'You know'.

'Well, I don't? You look tired'.

'I don't sleep much' she yawned, instinctively.

'Why don't you get some rest, I can bring you up some food later' Roy asked.

'No, you know what Roy, I'm going to get out. Not working is driving my head in, I need some fresh air' Carla said, standing up abruptly and putting her cardigan on.

Roy sighed, resigning himself to the fact Carla would do what she wanted, when she wanted.

* * *

It slowly dawned on Carla how ill she was getting. Striding across the street in her beloved heels, something she did with ease and grace on a normal day, left her out of breath, her heart beating hard in her chest. She felt the need to gasp for a breath that actually satisfied her.

Leaning against the wall, she dropped her back to the floor, her vision suddenly flickering away into a hazy blur. She felt the air in her lungs dissipate, her legs giving way without a moments notice. Before she knew it, she'd slid to the ground, all her energy gone.

Her collapse had not gone unnoticed.

'I'm okay' she mumbled as arms lifted her up, carrying her away.


	7. Chapter 7

**_Thank you for the reviews :)_**

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Dev burst through the doors of the Rovers, a semi conscious Carla in his arms. Her skin had faded to a pale grey and her limbs flopped in his arms.

'Can someone call an ambulance?' he said as he found an empty booth, gently laying Carla down on the padded seat.

Peter came through from the back, to the commotion going on. When he clapped eyes on Carla, slumped in the booth his heart stopped and he rushed round from the bar. Toyah's eyes widened at the speed of her boyfriend's reaction, not a second's hesitation as he flanked round Carla.

'What's happened, is she okay/?' he said, his eyes wide, full of concern.

'I don't know, I just saw her fall and collapse' Dev said before looking round to see Tyrone on the phone to the paramedics.

'Carla, what are you saying?' Peter said moving closer to her and she mumbled something without making much sense at all.

She gave up, letting the weight of her head fall against the seat.

'She hasn't looked well.. I knew something was wrong' Peter said defiantly.

Toyah had seen enough. Marching over to Peter she tugged on his jacket.

'Come on, there's nothing you can do, Dev's with her, just wait for the ambulance' she said desperately trying to pull her partners attention away from Carla.

'If this had anything to do with you, pushing her' Peter said, through gritted teeth, for a moment overcome before softening at the sight of Toyah's devastated expression.

'Sorry he said, it's just, I know er' and I know this isn't like Carla' he said as Toyah looked downcast. She felt defeated, Peter's concern for ex undeniable.

In the small street, word got around quickly, and before you knew it, Roy came hurrying into the Rovers just as the ambulance had pulled up and parked.

By this point, only Dev remained by Carla's side. Peter had been dragged back to the bar but his eyes were still locked on Carla.

'What happened?' Roy asked frantically.

Dev shrugged, 'She collapsed, that's all I saw, I picked her up and brought her in here, it's freezing out there'.

Roy shuffled beside Carla, gently lifting her head to lean against his leg as she sat beside her.

'Roy' Carla said with a weak, half hearted smile.

'The ambulance are here' Roy said gesturing as the paramedics came in.

'What's her name?' they asked Roy.

'Carla, she's very unwell' Roy said.

'Right, Carla, are you with us?' they asked, gently prodding Carla to see how conscious she was.

'Unfortunately' Carla mumbled in her typical humour.

* * *

At some point during the examination Carla had fallen unconscious once more, giving Roy the opportunity he'd been waiting for. He could no longer respect her wishes, not when she had declined so quickly. Not when her life was literally hanging in the balance.

As the paramedics faffed about her he gave in, 'Carla, she has kidney failure, she's close to needing dialysis.. possible transplant' he said, feeling guilty that he hadn't spoken up sooner.

'Kidney failure' Peter mumbled, having overheard Roy, his attentions on Carla all the time he'd been stood there.


End file.
